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Raising a human is not an easy job for a dog. My human's name is Janine and my name is
Sabre. Her stats are, she's 5
years old (in dog years that is), still has all her hair, only two legs (we've gotten over that problem), she has
no tail (it throws her balance
off a bit) and she can't bark. Her colouring is interesting. She's a white/blonde.
Ok, so you must be wondering why I kept her around? Well .... I loved her right from the start and we're a family now. When my friends visit we laugh and say I'm sure she doesn't even know she's human. It wasn't easy to start with but I persevered and now she's the best behaved human you could ever wish to meet, although it was touch and go for awhile there. When we first met I agreed to leave my kennel and move into hers. What a day that was! I ran around barking my delight. She had a wonderful collection of things she calls bed, chair, mat and couch. Prior to that day I had only heard dogs talking about such wonders but nothing prepared me for the real thing. I bounced from bed to bed, up onto a chair over to a couch, back to the bed, all the time telling her how happy I was. I was delighted when she joined in and chased me from room to room. I had a gut feeling we were going to get along just fine. Apart from her not understanding bark talk I think the biggest and most demanding hurdle I had to face was to get her to do her smelly business outside where we could all enjoy it. She had the bad habit of dropping it into a hole in a small room where it was immediately flushed away. It was very frustrating trying to explain that it was really bad taste to do this. I took her on nightly walks outside thinking if I left her alone she might get the idea of what's expected of her. She just didn't understand. I'm sure my dog pals laugh at me but I confess I tolerate her odd behaviour now. I can't expect her to be perfect, right? We soon sorted out important issues like food. I showed her what I didn't like by upending my dish when she insisted on feeding me with boring stuff. It's a shame that humans don't understand the delicacy of meat after it's been buried in soil and left to mature for a week or two. Sometimes we play a game where we eat at the same time. I gobble mine down as fast as I can then I stare intently at her or steal it out of her bowl when she's not looking. This is followed by a quick run around her kennel with me leading and her chasing. I really love this game and it's very good for her. Not only does she sleep well but it keeps her fit. I noticed she never responded when I could clearly hear the cat next door approaching our yard. I'd bark and bark at the door and she'd just stare at me with a dopey look on her face. I decided she was one sorry human and I was going to have to protect her with all my might, constantly. Now I watch her closely and spend a lot of time lying by her paws, which brings me to the next issue we had to deal with. Her legs. Have you noticed how weird they look when balancing on two legs? They've got a huge paw on the end of each one which is long and flat to counter-balance their handicap. This makes it hard for them to run with grace or jump even the simplest hurdle without falling over. If she lags too far behind when we're out I run back and bark for her to hurry up or she might miss something. These days I tie her to my collar with a lead so I won't lose her. My task of rearing Janine would have been much easier if she understood bark talk. I'm sorry to say this is when she was at her dumbest. How hard is it to learn simple words like food, walk and play? At first her response to me was a vacant look. I'd say a word and wait for her to repeat it. All she said was blah blah blah! I repeated the word over and over again until I noticed a pattern and decided to use a less direct approach. By using tail wags, tongue wiggles and barks we finally had a break through. These days when she's sitting down and relaxed I repeat this lesson. One day she'll get it right! If you don't give up, if you treat your human with kindness and care, look after their health and give them plenty of exercise, they'll live for a very long time. It's the best thing I ever did, adopting a human and they make wonderful pets. ©Janine Daniel
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